The Mentor, Penpal and Friend

Something I love, something that inspires and helps me, it is this business accountability group that I’m in. It’s part of this business mastermind thing I’m doing, and our accountability group meets once every week. There’s four mums and me, so sure there’s a lot of business strategy talk n’ all that, but there’s definitely some “mum talk” as well. I find this endearing, plus these are perspectives that I’m rarely exposed to, like raising teenagers and current-day high school stuff is something I know nothing about. Secretly, I wish I did though, I wish things had’ve turned out differently and I was a “pop.”

Anyway, this isn’t the story I want to tell here today, in fact this is quite the left field introduction. But where it comes from, you see I was on a videocall with this accountability group last week (or it actually been the week before) but I started talking about one of my close mentors. Hm, talking? More like typing it out very slowly while everyone waits in this awkward silence for me. Still, I don’t mention this mentor very often (who in reality is more like a friend and papal) because she is quite famous and successful in certain circles, and I feel super weird about the whole potential perceptions by others of name dropping or leeching off her influence. Dunno, maybe it’s all in my head?

Nevertheless, in my little accountability group, I obviously felt comfortable enough to mention our connection and just how much I look up to her. Like apart from being an uber lovely person, in business and in her career as an author she is totally rocking it. Yep, my dream is to jump onto a similar path as her (which totes will take a huge amount of work), but the thing I want to model most of all is her authenticity. Being real is king. Oh hey, I’m sure now that I did mention her in my first book, not by name of course.

But the weird thing I want to make mention of, while I was chatting about this mentor in the context of our accountability group, I shared a recent photo of us together. Yeah, she lives in the US but was in Melbourne recently, so she came to visit. And this photo, as much as countless people would be super stoked and proud to have such a pic (and probably would’ve at a minimum shared it on social media), I’m super embarrassed by it. So, I think before my share in this group, I’d only ever shown about three people. This is because I’m in the pic, I’m in bloody bed. Hrrmph, I wish I was so much more than a “bedfly.”

Again, like I look up to this chick so much, and yeah cool I know she was genuinely fine with me being in bed (it really was just a case of being what it had to be), but can you imagine meeting up with one of your heroes while you’re stuck in bed? I dunno, like maybe this is another thing that’s all in my head and I’m focusing on the wrong thing (which for me anyway the photo does emphasise), because the truth is that the visit was so damn good. It’s actually been one of my highlights this year. I guess I just need to be more accepting of my inability and to see this for what it was; two friends building their bond. We really do just gel.

Okay, hm, alright now I’ll try to give you guys a slightly different perspective (and possibly a bit of background) to all this… so, my friend is a spiritual guide and teacher you’d probably say, plus she does the whole writing books thing too. Then, another dimension to what she gives to the world, she does these public talks all over the place – and has done for many years now. London, oh look I don’t really know all of the exact locations, but one thing’s for certain it is all the major cities in Australia. Anyhow, I’d known for over six months that she was coming, in fact, we’d discussed it heaps over email that I’d hopefully be able to make it (because she knew exactly just how dodgy my health had been). One thing she even hinted at, if I was to make it, I should hop up on stage with her and have a yarn on with her audience. Blimey crikey, live your dream as they say.

Only from six months out, my health never did improve. Stupid freaking leaky trachy. Stupid bed-ridden Markie. I mean, I would been pumped if I could’ve just attended her public talk, my ego didn’t need to be a part of the show, but I couldn’t even do that. I was so excited about it too, like I hadn’t been to one of her talks for yonkers (the last time I tried – and failed – it was to go to her Sydney show about three years prior). But before that, I did go to her Melbourne show about another five years before that – which was when we met. We’ve been emailing regularly ever since. Still, no kidding, I really, really, really wanted to go to her most recent town hall show.

Which, in thinking about it now, maybe this is why I’m so embarrassed by this most recent photo with her standing by my bedside. I know what could’ve been. And by no means am I saying that it should’ve been a photo of us talking on stage (but geez shit that would’ve been totally epic hey), a simple subtle photo in the crowd would’ve been nice, still I suppose what this does emphasise is that deep down I am really hurting. I absolutely hate that I’m this restricted, or trapped is probably a better word. It makes me so sad, like sure I absolutely wanted to see and support my friend with her talk, but I feel like being around people is the thing that I missed out on here – and I always miss out on. This is what I yearn for.

*Insert cheesy metaphor here* – I’m that piece of coral that has broken off from the reef and is floating out to sea, haha.

At least I have folks like my mentor/friend/penpal who visit, like even though a visitor for me is an incredibly rare thing (yeah, apart from my father I’d say I probably get one visitor every six to eight weeks), when people do pop in it does somehow recharge my batteries. Hm, maybe it reminds me that I am still a part of the world? Dunno. But with this “celebrity” visitor (haha), nah seriously, this was something special. Like not only is she a cool and charismatic chick, you can just tell when somebody’s done the personal development work, plus has the lived experience. You can then chat on such a deeper level.

Actually, I think this is exactly why we’ve been penpals for so long now, it’s because there is so few people who have done the deep spiritual and emotional work to a point where they can even attempt to comprehend what’s going on for me (and in my brain). Like, truly, I say this with no animosity toward the people that do try (and I absolutely do appreciate all the empathy and love), still there really is a next level (or even three or four more levels) to emotional evolution. And this particular mentor, she is top tier. Whenever I email her with what’s going on for me, either physically or emotionally, and no matter how catastrophic, her responses always come in with this different slant to everybody else. The only way that would give justice to describing our correspondence, it’s like I’m receiving pure love through the screen.

I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE THIS PERSON IN MY LIFE. Every single time we chat and I read her words, I feel like I always learn something important. I always leave the screen thinking that little bit differently. No wonder she’s a New York Times best-selling author hey, haha.

But, be that as it may, look let’s wrap this thing up. To get to this point, I’ve seriously been writing this for exactly five hours straight (so this is a good point of reference if you were curious about how fast I can type – I’m currently at 1413 words and I’ve only had maybe a two minute break, otherwise I’ve written this is one continuous stream, with zero editing and not even a single pause to generate ideas). Yep, I really am this full of bullshit, it just oozes. This is how I always write. I don’t bleed on the pages, I drool, haha.

Oh yeah… slap… storytelling, sandwiches, Superman. Did you know Linus carries around a wobbie? Eek, sorry, it’s obvious that I’m reaching the end of my tether. So look, just quickly, let’s circle back to the fateful photograph. And you know, in writing all this as I just have now, suddenly I’m feeling a lot better about that pic. It really was a landmark visit, plus it was such a cool experience and opportunity, ahh, I don’t know how but in this full Ken, Chun Li, Sargent Bison sorta way I do still kick ass. No matter what the obstacle, I do still manage to participate and make an impact in my own way.

Like, as I obviously didn’t make it to my friend’s public talk, well, as it was the day after our visit, apparently she still spoke about me for an hour or so on stage. Truly, I am so honoured. And, wowser-weee, then I received this completely random message from an old primary school friend at the exact time my mentor friend would’ve been doing her thing.

” Hiya. I’m currently at _________, and she just talked about her friend Mark…. I thought this inspiring guy sounds very familiar! New apartment, shoe collection, books, strength, persistence Thought I’d let you know that through _________ you just helped inspire a room full of hundreds of women”

Chuffed.

The universe really does have your back,

For a further point of reference: 1664 in exactly six hours.

Part 2

Okay… OFFICIAL RESULTS ARE IN. Just in case anybody’s ever wondered how fast I type (by using my head and this magic sensor thing), based on tonight’s sample, in which I literally did not ever stop clicking. So, I did…

1413 words in exactly 5hrs

1664 words in exactly 6hrs

Which works out at… drum roll please…

 4.65 words per minute

Lightning. Puts things (and my obsession) into perspective. Yep, writing really is my life ❤