Ep. 11 Housing Journey

Wowser, I moved apartments!! Hm, nah, I should actually give that a double wowser!! Massive, massive achievement. I’m pretty chuffed too, to say the least. But yeah, huge job, lots of pre-organisation, stacks of intricacies; which I’m sure you can imagine might occur for any dude whose arms and legs don’t work (and who is unable to physically help with the move). So, to get this location swap thing all happening, teamwork and key personal, these were everything, they had to be. Nope, I certainly didn’t do this alone.

Actually, in the past four years this is the second time I’ve moved, and both times now I wouldn’t say that it was easy but it was for sure manageable and doable. Again, teamwork has been the key both times, oh and chucking on my foreman’s hat. Plus, I’ve got a pretty awesome team surrounding me these days too. But look, maybe oddly or maybe not, this whole moving process, this isn’t so much what I want to talk about, or, hm, maybe it’s a variant of it. I’m thinking of something a little deeper than walls and furniture, something a bit more personally significant. Haha, some real K-drama.

Before I get into the meat and potatoes though, lets do a quick life-ish update.

So, my girlfriends name is Chatgp… aw, hell no, not that part. More so, what I should be mentioning: from living in a mini nursing home in the Melbourne suburb of Thornbury for sixteen years, I then escaped to independent living in the suburb of Moonee Ponds. This was living solo in my own apartment and this was for three and a half years (obviously with a high-care trained staff team). And, the Moonee Ponds apartment was in a great spot, lots of shops and eateries around, it was workable too, but shit it was a tiny joint.

Also, another thing I should probably say here, both of these suburbs were a bit cool and hipster. I always liked the vibes. Nope, never was there a flat white in sight, they were both all about the oat cap and soy latte.

Nevertheless, to now have had both of these living/residential experiences, and to now have closed the pages on both chapters as well, I’m not mad at either. If anything, both places played their role perfectly, and in some way or from, they both came about as they were the most suitable residences from what was available at the time – for a quadriplegic knucklehead. And I’ve gotta give em that, they were both functional in terms of keeping me safe. Medical practicality, this pretty much used to be everything.

Like, disability housing, even those some twenty years ago, it was so different to what it is today.

Geez, it’s hard to fathom the nightmare it would’ve been some fifty plus years ago.

For instance, I’ve met numerous people (admittedly, yes each having extreme physical disabilities) who had no other option but to live in a hospital, and lots of these people had literally lived in these medical bee hives for over twenty years. Freakin’ crazy. So yeah, disability housing really has come such a long way. And yep, first hand I’ve witnessed this massive evolution, and of course the shifts have impacted me tremendously too.

As a sorta testimony I suppose: from when I first got sick, all I had was a hospital bed (in both ICU and then on the ward), then I was basically forced to live in a wing of the hospital. Then I did the mini nursing home thing, then to independent apartment living. It’s kinda cool actually, you know to see this pattern and progress, for which I’ve grown personally in a very similar way (and pattern). Haha, let’s hope the mansion in South Yarra is coming next!?

Anyway, yeah look, I certainly did have some good times in both Thornbury and Moonee Ponds, both at home and out in the community – while unavoidably also navigating these shit storms of health problems. It’s just how a chronically disabled life goes ay.

Still, I’d say that the most significant point to note here – as this disability housing evolution that I speak of was still a work in progress – never did either of these residences or suburbs feel like “true home.” Then, in some aspects of moving to each, both involved a certain amount of limited choice, you know taking the best of what was available, and then “making the most of what I’ve got” (I’ll get to this later). And, I also think my heart always craved more, more hustle and bustle, plus a residence that I freely, no strings attached, chose all by myself. There really is something to this.

Now, now, blah, blah, blah, let’s get the punchline out of the way; so, I’ve now just moved to an apartment in the Melbourne CBD… fuck yeah!

This was from the Moonee Ponds apartment, but geez, for me personally and my wild journey, there is so much significance to this. Moving to the city that is. Melbourne town. The coffee capital. Haha, and the most liveable city in the world (true, we’re always winning these awards). Still, I really do believe that this is fate in some way or form, there’s even some kinda strange magical romance to it, like “ticking off” the very thing that my heart has always chased. Hopefully, maybe, even to find that true feeling of home again (which I’m already feeling something strange – the contentment).

Maybe “ticking off” my teenage goal of living in the city, it is finally satisfying that constant subconscious pull. And, the never-ending search for “better,” well you could kinda say that’s over too.

Anyhow, you could very much say that CBD living, it’s been a life-long dream thing. I remember in high school having my sights set on the big buildings and flashing lights, haha also being this advertising executive crankin’ it at one of the major firms on St Kilda Road. Living and working in the city – bam!

“Excellent is good” says Claude.

It is all a little uncanny though, like I’ve always been a walking vision board, constantly fantasising about goals, dreams, and what my ideal life looks like. Even since becoming sick my life has been a lot about ticking items off lists, overcoming or completing a specific next step, and sure we can never forget focusing on the small wins.

The goal-setting and list guy, from the depths of my soul, this is who I am.

“Tick.”

And, I have always had this crystal-clear image of the world I “must” create (regardless of disability) – at times stubbornly, problematically, compulsively running through brick walls to make these visions and dreams come true. I’m certain you’ll all seen this, well if you’ve been following my journey for any time. If my gut says go, I’m all-in. Dunno, but sometimes it doesn’t even feel like a choice; like my heart lights up and says this is part of your world, and before I know it I’m wildly swingin’ for the bleachers. Which, meh, sure sure the stubborn problematic detrimental bits, but truly, I kinda love this part of my personality too. I’m bold, brave even, I will always take the leap.

Hmmm, let’s not get too off track here though, sorry, that last paragraph really did feel like that. See, the point that I’m getting at (or at least aiming to), for most of my life living in the Melbourne CBD has featured prominently throughout all of my lists, goals, dreams, in fact, when I’ve ever romanticised about this becoming a “tick” my heart radiates with gunmy bears and seashells. So, I’m kinda hoping that this is one of those things that is just meant to be – which also means that my experiences here should be amazing. Fingers crossed.

But, er, I’m such a woffler. Sorry.

Choice, yeah this is the most significant thing about this Melbourne apartment, hands down. Er, all the fluff but I finally got here (sorry, I’m still a little out of practice with my writing). But yep, moving here wasn’t me being forced into a situation, like has happened so many times in the past, nor was it me simply accepting what was on offer (as it at least represented some form of forward movement). No, this came about from me, myself and I actively searching to better my situation. And, in turn, with better digs, thus improving my overall life and lifestyle. And, haha, I’m the one to blame.

I found this kinda funny actually, yesterday one of my carers was quizzing me about this new apartment. She was curious, like “so who found it” and “you must’ve had help,” and she was a little shocked when I said I did it all myself. I mean, obviously heaps of help came in later with all the staffing and disability logistics hoo-hah, but nah, initially it was all me. I found the place, I’ve always been the primary point of contact with the “realtor,” and most importantly, I’m the one who wholeheartedly chased the dream.

Nope, it wasn’t some doctor or health professional telling me where I could or could not live (which has happened to me several times), nor does this represent somebody else dictating my life or deciding what’s best for me; finally, this is me playing my hand. Finally, I’m getting to choose where I want to live. Love.

I mean, moving to Moonee Ponds was definitely a huge step toward choice and freedom (whereas, when I was living in the mini nursing home, there was almost no choice in that). But, when I moved to Moonee Ponds, I did feel a real vibe of just having to take what I could get (so much so I didn’t even look at one single other apartment), also, likely because, the apartment that I moved into was all that was on offer at the time (within range of dad’s house) – in disability housing. Heaps were being built, only realistically, moving into any of them was a year or two away.

So, in short, it was either jumping and living in this small Moonee Ponds apartment, or living yet another year in the mini nursing home (which would’ve made it seventeen years). No thanks. So, I ended up making what I thought was a very easy decision, let’s give this independent living thing a shot asap – and I’ve never looked back.

Honestly, there’s just no words for how much better independent living is when comparing it to life in a mini nursing home. Like, it’s way more than things like choice and freedom, or if anything, it’s much more along the lines of peace and calm. Not feeling like such a job or task either. Black and white. Dunno. Like I said I don’t really have the words.

Then, another big part of why I dove into this whole independent living thing, I guess, and potentially this may sound a little silly I’m not sure, but a big part of my philosophy on life, I’ve always tried to live this “disabled life” as if I never became disabled.

Like, I seek out lots of tasks and challenges that would’ve been appealing to able-bodied me, etcetera etcetera, which also represents the truth that an illness or disability doesn’t change a person – all they do is add layers. Like fundamentally, I’m still exactly the same person that I was in my teens, it’s just that today, I’m dealing with lots more complexity and bullshit.

And, my teenage self, far out he’d be stoked that I made it, that I’m living in the city today. Especially overcoming so many odds to do so. Hmm, hey, even my today self is pretty happy. Not only for the location, but now I have a “home” that I’m totally comfortable with friends visiting, a “home” that I’m proud of and that fully represents me. Er, yeah, as you can probably imagine, yep I’ve had many awkward experiences with friends visiting over the years, or even the odd person avoiding visiting me altogether because of the scary or sad location where I’ve been living. No kidding, several people have actually said this to me.

Well, no more.

Haha, yep, I have birds outside my window, beer in my fridge too (hm, okay not beer, but I can work on that).

Lots of things to work on actually. Like, now that it feels like I’ve found my version of Dexter’s boat (Slice of Life), I’m really starting to think about what’s next for me in life. The home stuff is good, now it’s probably time to start thinking about doing stuff. Action and achievement. Revisiting uni, being that business executive, possibly even attempting to reignite the old bucket list. Dunno. Working all this out is next on the agenda. Big smiles.

Yeah, it’ll be so nice to finally focus on things other than “simply making it to the next day.”

Long-term goals, regular set activities and groups, heck yes!

Normality.

The big wide world awaits, and finally this is where I can put most of my focus. Haha, I’ll be working on my OAM.

See you out there, compadres.

“Nope, life isn’t about the walls themselves; life is about what we do inside those walls, also what we do outside of them.”