Do You Believe?

It’s the question that we all have to face sooner or later, and for me it’s come much sooner than I would have liked. But what does happens when we die? It is the question that has plagued humankind for centuries. Do we go to heaven or hell, is there a transfer of energy and we become something else, or is it in fact the end, a perpetual nothingness? We’ll all find out one day… only right now all we can do is hypothesise, even believe in something. Because to date there is no conclusive evidence, or some might say there is in the Bible nd other spiritual texts, yet there is not one thing that all of humanity agrees upon. Is this what makes it so interesting?

Now, as I live in such a fragile state this is something I’ve pondered deeply for years. I’ve explored countless spiritual texts deeply, even had that odd spiritual encounter. I think this is stuff that we all ned to explore in our lifetimes. And I want to belive so bad that our consciousness continues on in some way or form (which I’m pretty certain I do) but that tiny element of doubt has always remained. I think I’ve explored too much and read too many contradicting theories, so all I know is that there’s gotta be something to all this. Something I’d love to explore and narrow down over the coming decades only I don’t think I’ll get that opportunity, sadly.

Okay, now for a little side step, so the weird thing about me is that I’ve died a few times already (and been brought back to life). And as far as near death experiences and seeing lights or meeting Jesus, I had absolutely nothing happen. Or if anything, rather than everything going blck it went blue. Originally I was a bit disappointed by this, I wanted the bliss or awakening, but no visions for me. All I got was further evidence of how hard and screwed up my life is.

So, much like 99 percent of the population, my spitual and end of life explorations remained in the realm of theory and gut feelings. Which, over time, I’ve become okay with this again. It has kept me curious, plus the not knowing has made me lean on my intuition even more. I like self-reliance but ideally, I’d much rather be leaning on God for everything. There’s so much comfort in it. Now this is something I’ve really tried to work on and develop over the years, but something that is still a work in progress. I’m quite drawn to Christianity, blah blah, but that’s a whole different story.

Actually, to side step once more (and contrary to any Christian beliefs I might have), I am totally fascinated by the concept of reincarnation. There are several amazing docos I’ve watched about all this too, mind blowing. Anyhow, reincarnation seems plausible to me, or more specifically it gives me comfort. It makes sense to me as well, as in continuity provides a deeper meaning to all of this. I hate the thought that we’re just shallow souls wandering around on this big rock for ninety years and that’s it. To me, the universe in all its magnificence should be smarter than this. But then agin, humanity tends to pass the baton from generation to generation through education, oh it’s all so complex.

Still, complexity is one of the most beautiful things about this existence. Well, also include free will, the capacity to learn and love, then life’s mysteries like death or inventions such as electricity, yeah chuck these in too. Then, funny isn’t it? Maybe it’s the fact that life is finite that makes it so precious, meaningful and worthwhile. I just wish I got a better shot at it, like I wish I had more freedoms and autonomy. Yet, my illness has brought about many insights that may have otherwise gone undiscovered in my lifetime, and it has definitely created a very unique world view.

Aw, yeah, that a fair rambling. Er, and I didn’t even get to all the life is a big video game simulation or it’s all an illusion theories. I quite like some of these, in particular the A Course in Miracles concepts, only gees they are mind bending and hard to explain. Maybe this is some stuff you could research yourself – if it calls to you? I’m not here to push my viewpoints on you, this stuff is too important to have somebody else mould your opinion. This is all a very individualised jurney and path. But if anything, as a sub-theme, I guess what I’d like people to think about through all this is the finite of life (or is it?), because if this is it it sure might be an idea to have a fair crack. To smile, to find your passion and purpose, do find out what is important to you and then do it. This is the truest essence of living – and use death as a motivator, well only if it serves you. I know I do.

So, follow your bliss, find your personal legend, blah the meaning of life is to have a life with meaning, dance more dances and take more chances, haha use a many clichés as you need to find your personal greatness and contentment. I’m sure that this is what your God would want for you. I mean, hey and if you don’t believe in a God believe in yourself. But most importantly, please believe in something!!

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