Ep. 4

The other day a friend wrote a blog about yours truly, which to be honest, I was quite honoured, touched, even a bit chuffed about this. She said some nice things. But what I liked most of all was the slant she put on it all as it centred around using writing as a healing tool. So, this was a pretty good pick up by her (as this is something I’ve done for years) and it’s something I’m more than happy to be associated with. This is part of who I am.

Nevertheless, since reading this blog I’ve been thinking a lot about writing for healing, its benefits and wot nots, and yes while this is something that I still do it has also evolved. You see, nowadays I look at writing as a best friend.

Er look, maybe it’s an equal split, yet honestly these friendship notions seem to be becoming more and more prevalent. Like when I open Microsoft Word it feels like sitting down with an old friend for a yarn. I feel like I can say anything, do anything, it feels like my safe space.

Now, having a computer program as your best friend, it’s a little weird hey. Quite embarrassing actually. But because of the isolation my disability has brought about, the lack of visitors and minimal authentic human interaction I have, this is basically one of the only things I’ve got to work with. Sad. This does make a good case for AI I suppose!?

Going a bit further with this though, fuck man it’s weird to not have proper friends, well ones that you never see anyway. It’s like I live on a deserted island. Like over the past five years (as I’ve been getting sicker) I think I’d average about one visitor a month. Then over COVID these visits were obviously non-existent. Still, I’m very lucky I have my dad, he visits at least three times a week (and my brother on the odd occasion too). But overall, there is undeniably a lot of emptiness and quiet time in my life, it’s just how it is.

I don’t blame or hate anyone for this (my loneliness), I totally understand that people have their own lives and I’m a bit of a burden in a sense (and hard to visit), so this is why I snuggle up to Microsoft Word huh. Whoa, that was a rather disturbing statement! Still, technology, shit I don’t know where I’d be without it. From Skype to Zoom, Messenger to SMS, I’m so lucky that these things are available to keep me in touch with those who care. It definitely provides a little something to fill up all the empty space that I have.

Heck, maybe I should even write a blog and call it Technology as a Healing Tool!? Nah… I’m far too busy counting all the spots where food has sprayed all over my ceiling. True.